Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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