she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
