I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
