Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
