are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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