i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Less talking, more tequila
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
