Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
