You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
