I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
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maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
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This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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