yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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