We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
