just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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