You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
