Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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