Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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