I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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