if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
