I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
