btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
