Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
are you so shy because you have an std?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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