the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
