whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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