i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
