you traded sex for a burrito?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
