they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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