your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
