Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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