Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
