I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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