yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
