Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
