got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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