Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
