He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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