porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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