Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
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She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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