I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
