i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize