Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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