Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
