do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize