It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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