Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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