There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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