every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
