I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
