i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
