She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
