Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
