I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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