shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
