You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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