i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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