cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
