Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
