I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize