I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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