We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
