So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
