maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
