I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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