Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
