all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
