The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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